« No bill of sexual rights can hold its own against the lawless, untamable landscape of the erotic imagination » writes Daphne Merkin.

In this sentence, might lie the remedy for the unfulfilling ache most couples ~even the solid ones~ feel.

Esther Perel, Erotic Intelligence Guru, finds that paradoxically, “many of her patients have, by their own account, domestic sex lives devoid of excitement and eroticism, yet are consumed and aroused by richly imaginative sexual life beyond domesticity. Having denied themselves freedom and freedom of imagination in their relationships, they go outside, to reimagine themselves with dangerous strangers.” *

Perel notes “that women often battle the age old-repressions of female sexuality that have trapped a woman ito passivity and dependance on men to seduce and initiate her into sexuality, to intuit what she likes and to bring her to fulfillement. Economic and professional independence not withstanding, women remain sexually dependent.” *

Au revoir to the free-spirited 60’s, the wild and irresponsible 80’s and the  extravagant 90’s! We have become tamed by a politically correct environment, a 50/50 breakdown of shared responsibilities to manage the household and unaffected by the omnipresence of nudity.

Can I dare write: Sex for some has become too safe. 

There is an old saying in France that suggests “to have an affair to rekindle the marriage.”

Leave it to Esther Perel to add her twist and solve your entire dilemma without loosing your soul (or whatever is left of it ).  With a coy smile, she suggests YOU to have an affair with YOUR partner. How radical  is that?

Obviously not that radical!  The scene in It’s Complicated where Alec Baldwin thanks his ex-wife Meryl Streep as he leaves her house after a steamy reunion comes to mind…

Esther Perel has the secret cure-all? to revive the sexual imagination of couples. After years of as a sex therapist to countless couples and exhaustive research on the subject matter, her latest book Mating in Captivity will reignite your engines and soon you’ll be roaring again!

In a few words, it starts by bringing the adventure home and changing our all too  obvious, open and goal-oriented  attitudes to a more suggestive, ambiguous and mysterious manner…

Who says sexting and truth or dare are for people over 25 only?  She is French dares you to throw caution to the wind!

~ She

* excepts from Esther Perel’s article : Unleashing Your Erotic Intelligence